Friday, March 12, 2004

Superstar's Ayya

There is this hilarious thread on TFMpage where a couple of ppl [nicknames curses and C~P] have come up with a script for Superstar Rajinikanth's next movie Ayya. The relevant portions of the thread are exactly reproduced here. The entire thread is archived here. There is also another script for Puratchi Kalaignar Vijayakanth's next movie. For now enjoy AYYA presented by curses and C~P.

From: curses (@ on: Fri Feb 27 11:16:18 EST 2004

AYYA ..that's what they say
A to the Y to the Y to the A
That's what we cry in pain
come sunshine or a very rare rain

Baba was a flop u may say
ok, it ran off after a week and a day
curses proudly presents along w/ Chinna~Payya(n)
The brilliant story of "engal AYYA"! :

From: C~P (@ on: Fri Feb 27 11:27:26 EST 2004

Since many of the people here are confused as to what the next Rajni film would deal with, I've managed to get the story from a very relaible source...

Film Name : Engal Ayya
Sub Title : Amma thaaye pichai podungamma

Rajni usually starts off being a poor guy and ends up being a rich guy in say like one song where you have all these graphics used to draw some buildings,cars etc in the background. Being his last film, this is slightly different.

Rajni is a very rich guy. But he has come to this status only after doing "vivasaayam" and he never forgets the past usually (idhellam Rajni padathula change panna mudiyaathupa!) and so he has a mini land inside his bungalow where he "nattufies" the "naaththu" and grows some crops, pongifies it in a nasungina aluminia anda and eatifies it at home. But he has to maintain his status outside and so he wears all this coat,suit,boots etc. Ofcourse he is a very large hearted man who also has large lungs due to excessive smoking. This expansion actually occupies more space and gives lesser space for his heart which occasionally comes in the way of his dhanam and dharmam. (Idha signify panna appo appo oru flash kaatuvom and Rajni moonji vaerthufies!)

From: curses (@ on: Fri Feb 27 11:51:48 EST 2004

26.2.2013 - 21:30
The screen is entirely u slowly zoom out, we find out that it's Rajni's modhugu.. exactly then, we have another flash.. adhaanga.. FLASHBACK!! :) (directorial touch!)

5.5.1998 - 12:00
Rajni's in the fields, toiling in the sun. semma pasi... As he looks around at his grand checkerboard of fields, avar manasula oru bayangara pride (padathula eppadi kaatuvom paarkareengala, background-la pesipaar.. kandukaadheenga). It's noon, (and as per the rules of tamil cinema heroine vandhu pazhaiya soru kudukanam.. but idhu oru different Rajni kadhai..).. Horn satham kekudhu... Rajni thirumbi paartha namba Trisha akka scooter-la varaanga.. yup, she's a Domino's pizza delivery girl alrite. Sweat thodachu vida dhavani-yum illai, duppatta-vum illai.. what do.. irukkave irukku, Domino's thara Tissue paper.. (at this point u'd have guessed that Domino's is one of the brands that the movie is endorsing)..Trisha Rajni-ya paathu Pizza ooti vida.. Rajni-yum avanga amma pannina pizza maariye irukku-nu nenaikka.. semma sentimental music in background..

From: C~P (@ on: Fri Feb 27 12:11:21 EST 2004
Pizaa saapida saapida side-la oru love meter onnu full aagittae varum. (correct, direction dhaan!) Ofcourse this is the 10th or 20th time that Trisha is bringing Rajni Pizza coz it wouldn't be realistic to have a "Love at FIRST sight" stuff for Rajni! When the LoveMeter reaches 100% oru duet onnu podalaam. After the duet, we show the Pizza thattu very closely. Zoom out pannarchey it is a thaamboola thattu and adhula veththala paakku, poo pazham and stuff irukkum. Marriage dhaan, vaera enna. Padam ivalo naeram aagiyum no punch dialogues, no style-na eppadi. So kalyaanam is done in swayamvaram fashion. Rajni stand 10 feet away and throws the thaali up in the air and he does something with his hand which ties 3 knots and after this it lands directly on Trisha's kazhuththu!

27.2.2013 - 00:30
Rajni wakes up! Goes downstairs. Opens the fridge. Drinks some Ice Water. Gets back to sleep! (Yaemaandheengala?! Idhellam dhaan difference!!)

Rajni has kid who he valathufies by thookifying on the thol and gets uthais on the maaru. (Note the date...Indicates how fast Rajni is in all matters! ;-)) Little did he know that this kilikku pinnadi rekkai molaikkum and kili parandhu poidum!!

*End Flashback*

From: curses (@ on: Fri Feb 27 12:29:14 EST 2004

28.2.2013 - 05:00
Rajni wakes up on a cold (yup!Chennai-la thaan.. nething's possible in a Rajni movie-nu kaatama kaatarom!) Thursday morning.. romba kulurudhunu he goes back to sleep!!!
(unnarchi vasa padatheenga viewers.. Flashback continuity maintain panna ennakku vera vazhi theriyalai!!)

Payyan-odu 1st birthday. It's being celebrated w/ great pomp and ceremony. (Graphics vechu payyan mugathayum Rajni mugathiyum maathi maathi morphing seyyarom... cant have the audience run away w/ the idea that it's somebody else's kid! Date-a pathi kavalai padatheenga, Rajni payyan thaan!) Dhama thoondu kuzhandaiya irundhukittu, the kid throws his feeding bottle in the air and correctly catches it in his mouth.. Rajni-kku ore sanndhosham! Trisha looks grand in her brand new Kancheepuram..... Domino's pizza outfit! pinnadi oru paatu .. "amma amma ivanga pizza-va potu.. amma amma pala karpanai kattu" Rajni urudhiya irundhutaar... that he'll NOT compel Trisha to stay as a housewife. (what's the reason for this flashback?? It's not a waste of film roll... it's to show Trisha is still a working woman.. important point to be noted!)

*ippove nejamaave end flashback! * :)

ps: Pizza-va javvaliye pannuvaanga? romba izhukaren illa? :).. C~P ethukku irukaan.. kaala accelerator-la permenant-a vechurupaan! :)

From: C~P (@ on: Fri Feb 27 12:56:01 EST 2004

*C~P pudingifies the flash from the magix's camera, snatches all totoise coils that magix has to prevent any further flashbacks!*

To assure this, Rajni NEVER sleeps again! :-)

Trisha is still a working woman. Rajni insists that she also not marandhufies the pazhasu. So he has a mini Dominos Pizza stall in his terrace. Trisha anga dhaan scooter vittu pazhaguva!

Rajni's son is a naathaari. Amma maathiri scooter eduthuttu oor oora suththuvaan! (Seri vidunga, idhukku maela ennala magix sonna "important" point-a stress panna mudiyala!)

Ippo oru bayangara music. Rajni balcony-lerundhu etti paarthing. Oor therandufies and comes to meet him. Inspite of the small space his heart occupies, the role demands that he be large hearted and so he is! All the people come in azhukku veshti and without sattai (mandatory!).

Ellam farmers. Mazhaiye varala, so they cant grow crops anymore. No water. Idhunaala Rajni kitta help kaettu varuvaanga. Rajni walks down like 100 steps (BGM ofcourse irukkum!) and comes down. He takes a glass of water and sez..."Panni Illadha gramamum, thanni illadha payirum nalla irundhatha sarithramey kidayaathu. Idha vechu vivasaayam pannunga, aandavan paarthuppan!"

Rajni's son watchifies this from the balcony. He doesn't like to waste a glass of water for some iththu pona farmers. So he thuppifies the echai in the glass of water (adhey Rajni mannerisms-oda!) from the balcony!!

Rajni gets he again climbs up the stairs (munnadi poatta BGM-a backmask panni use panrom inga!) and thttifies his thodai in front of his son to signify that he is challenging him. He sez..."Kanna, onnu mattum nalla nyabagam vechukko maelerundhu echai thupparthu easy..aana andha thuppina echaiya thirumba edukkarthu dhaan kashtam! Echai is the important for digestion. One should know how to control it, otherwise vaai will become dry! Nee maelaendhu echaiya thuppitta aana unakku maela aandavan-nu oruththan irukkan, avam unmaela adhey echaiya thuppuvaan! Nee senja indha thappukkaga en soththu ellathayum indha thanni prachanai solve pannavey use pannala, naan Ayyavey illa!"


From: curses (@ on: Fri Feb 27 13:19:20 EST 2004

*desperately searches for a tortoise coil.... oh well..*

(Vailerundhu echai varadha paarthom.. Dhoorathilirundhu scooter ottaradha paarthom..
now we zoom into the payyan's face)
Simbhu(!!) says
"Appa, indha glass kulla irukaradhu namba thanni
So why should we share it w/ that panni
Adhunaala dhaan vitten andha super Echi,
kandukaadhe naina, naan semma hot machi!"

Rajni-ku kovam patheendu varuthu... he takes his angavasthram and flings it at the roof.. a crate of "Bisleri" water bottle falls to the ground (zoom into the brand name Bisleri for a couple of seconds, they've paid us nice money man!). "Kanna, naan ippo sollaren, indha BISLERI bottle ellam andha ezhaigalukku thaan sontham.. adhu mattum illa, unakku en sothilirundhu oru paisa kidayaathu.." Simbhu registers shock on his face (flash adikuthu.. flashback poda mudiyaama curses thavikiraan!) Rajni continues, "I am distributing all my wealth to poor people.. poor people are backbone of Indian society, we must know how to help them..." Simbhu intervenes, "Dad, nee ippo thaane idhe maari oru dialogue adiche" Rajni (another flash!) "kurukke kurukke(!) pesaadhe. ennakku vara dialogue thaan pesuven. naan ippo sollaren, India yaen, indha ullagathil irukara ella rivers-a link panna naan fund pannuven!" To prove he has his plan ready he flings his angavasthram again and this time magicks a sombhu in his hand. (zoom into Sombhu.. then into Simbhu! :p )

Rajni adds "Idhu thaan en adutha kattam.. indha maathiri sombhugalai India muzhukka vechuduven.. adhula ovoru citizen-um thanni oothina oru pudhu river-ae form pannalaam!"

Simbhu gasps looking at the title of the sombhu.. "Adhennapa TiS-nu ezhutheerukku?" Rajni lips curve up in one side (Bayangara BGM!) "Thanni in Sombhu!"

From: C~P (@ on: Fri Feb 27 14:00:05 EST 2004

"Thanni In Sombhu"-nu veerappa solliyaachu, adha eppadi implement seyyarthunnu Rajni-ku orey kuzhappam! Oor oora sombhu vecha niraya selavu aagum, oru city-ku oru Sombhu vecha collection aagaathu...confusion!!

Rajni padam aachey, politics illama eppadi? He goes and meets the CM directly. Appointment ellam kidayaathu, naera door ellam etti othachindu povaaru ulla, appo dhaan fans kai thattuvaanga! CM moonjiya kaattavey maattom. Vaerum oru "Blue Jersey" dhaan kaatuvom. (Padam paarthapuram contest ellam vekkanum-la, indha Blue Jersey poattirukkum CM yaaru-nu question kaettukkalaam!).
CM : Innapa vaenum ungalukke? Yaen katavey udacheenge?
Rajni : Hey hey neenga makkal prathinidhi! Unga kathavu enaglukkaga eppovum tharanthirukkanum. Illaena udachuttu dhaan varuvaan indha Ayya!
CM : Neenge aanalum rombe mosame pa! Seri chollunga, enna vaenum?
Rajni : Haahhaaaaahaaaaa...Kanna enakku thanni vaenum.
CM : Thare mudiyaathe!
Rajni : Indha Ayya thanni kudutha kudichuttu povaan, illatti adichuttu povaan! Ulagathula irukkara ella nadhiyayum Ramanathapuram maavattam pakkam thiruppi vidanum. Mudiyuma mudiyaatha? Paththu second time tharaen...10,9,6..
CM : Innapa thappu thappa count panre?
Rajni : Adhellam enakku theriyaathu. 8 and 7 solli tharachey enga oorla mazhai. Naan pallikoodam pakkam pogala! Adhellam edhukku unakku?! Ayya counting-a yaenda niruthina?! Enakku marandhu poachu paaru!!
CM : Thanni vida mudiyaathe pa, unnale enna seyye mudiyumo senjukko!
Rajni : Seri, tata!!

Poochandy balikkala-nu Rajni-ku orey varuththam. Sombhu dhaan orey choice pola. Vaangara sombhu nalla sombh-a vaangina varungaalathula vayakaattu pakkam makkal porachey use aagum-nu oru nalla ennam!! ;-)

Yaemaarama sombu vaanga he goes to Prabhu who is capable of telling a Sombhu's birthday and even it's IP number!! So he goes and buys the Sombhu with the help of Prabhu. Adhula unfortunately he has to spend his entire soththu! (As promised we have a song! Rajni becomes ezhai in this song...evalo difference paartheengala??! Kumudam-la aaru vidhyasayngal pakkathula varum idhellam!)

Succesfully he buys the Sombhu and places it in all major districts and asks the people to contribue water to ThanniInSombhu thittam. Next day paartha all sombhus missing!! Yaaro suruttikinu poitaanga! :-(

Rajni savaal-la jeippara?? Ellarum nagatha kadinga, appo dhaan solluvaen! :-)

Difference-kaga idhellam change pannina eppadi? Ofcourse jeippar! Baba padathula avarukku actually 8 varam kuduppanga...avar kaathula thappa 7-nu vizhindhium...innum oru varam baakki irukkum! :P

Indha varam vechu Gangotri Glacier-a TamizhNaadu-ku shift panniduvaar so that Ganga inimey south-la irukkum! Appadiye sanjeevi malaya thookkara maathiri Himalayas-a thookki avar voottu pakkathula vechuppar. Train charge micham aagum paarunga!! Ippadi water problem solve pannuiduvaar!

Since all his soththu is lost, Trisha and Chimbhu become mad! Trisha scooter-la suthittae iruppa. Simbhu is taken and adachified inside a cage in Vandalur Zoo!

Idhellam paarthu manasu odinju Rajni goes trekking on Imayamalai. Thalayila oru oli theriyum. Keezha jananga ellam "Ayya pogaatheenga, pogaatheenga"-nu kaththa, Rajni thavam seyya...Gatham Gatham!! :-)

From: curses (@ on: Fri Feb 27 14:10:56 EST 2004

Himalayas ponathukku aparam thaan realise panninaaru... kulir thaanga mudiyaathu! Sothu irundha oru fur coat vaangeerukalaam! enna seyya, (soga tune-ukkum backmasking nadakuthu!) Mun veitha kaalainaan pinn veikka maaten solli, vera route-la thirumba Chennaike varaaru! Blue Jersey-a thochu kuduthu sambhaathikuraaru. Kadaisseyil oru Mega Laundry kadai setup pannaraaru! Trisha, Simbhu, the CM, Prabhu,.. ivanga ellam Rajni easy(?) chair-il ukaarumbothu suthi ukaandhukaraanga... indha thoL-il Trisha, andha thoL-il Simbhu.. kaal kitta CM and Prabhu.. Rajni dhaadi venchundu comedy-a oru smile adikaraaru! :)

(curses kaila tortoise coil kidaichuduchu!!)

bayapadadheenga.. oru oru scene flash aagi, thiruppi Rajni moonjike focus! :)

Subham! (that reminds me.. what happened to our DFer called Subha!!)

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